


even at my best (i'm still feeling like a mess)

by PeriodicallyBleeding



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Homeless, Anyways, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, More tags to be added, Past Abuse, Slurs, Yikes, homeless josh, runaway tyler, tyler's dad is a fucking asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:57:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5177738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeriodicallyBleeding/pseuds/PeriodicallyBleeding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he needed to...get away...from all of this.</p><p> </p><p>he needed out.</p><p> </p><p>aka tyler's a runaway and josh is homeless. -title is from bound to break by this wild life-</p>
            </blockquote>





	even at my best (i'm still feeling like a mess)

**Author's Note:**

> feedback's appreciated, i should be updating my other fics soon by the way i wrote this to kinda get back into the flow of things.

the rain was pounding down, the air was biting at tyler's face and his legs ached from running for so long. but he wasn't going to stop, not yet. he continued to bolt down the streets, the backpack on his back rustling every time he took a step. he didn't want to glance back, he didn't know if his dad even bothered to leave the house in search for him sure as fuck wasn't taking any chances. the passers by on the street stole occasional glances at him as he ran past them, he hoped they thought the tears streaming down his face were just rain drops and not bother to stop him and ask him what's wrong.

he kept running, hoping to get as far away as possible from that place.

 

**_*flashback*_ **

**  
  
**

 

"tyler? tyler it's me."

**  
  
**

tyler glanced over at his bedroom door, rolling his eyes as it opened ever so slowly and his mom peered in. he took note of the bruising around her face and resisted the urge to burst into tears, she gave him a weak smile.

"dinner's ready, coming down stairs?"

"not with that fucking _animal_ down there." tyler seethed, going back to scribbling in his notebook. she glanced behind her before letting out a sigh and walking further into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"tyler." she sat down on the edge of his bed, tyler refused to meet her gaze. she reached out and he suddenly jolted back, eyes going wide.

"sorry, _sorry_." she shook her head, choosing to keep her hands on her lap. tyler's knuckles were turning white from how tightly he was gripping his notebook, he looked back down at it with a sigh.

"i'm not hungry."

"tyle-"

"why are you still with him?" tyler cut her off, swallowing back a sob as he forced himself to look at her. she tensed up for a split second, looking genuinely frightened before she shrugged weakly.

"he's your father, and my husband, tyler. i love hi-"

"fuck, right. i forgot loving someone included _beating them half to death_." tyler interrupted her once again through gritted teeth. he can't recall the amount of times he's thrown himself in front of his own family just to protect them from that monster.

his mom opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of the door swinging open, she jumped and snapped her head around to see him standing at the doorway.

"dinner's ready, tyler." tyler's dad nodded down the hallway, tyler felt his stomach twist.

"i'm not hungry."

"you _are_ , get downstairs. _now_." he said a little more sternly and tyler noticed his fists were clenching, "your mother slaved in that kitchen and you're going to turn around and tell us you aren't hungry?"

"your wife wasted 10 years of her life with you and you're gonna turn around and repay her with a _black eye_?" tyler retaliated, suddenly going wide eyed as he realised what he just said.

" _boys_." tyler's mom stood up quickly, "uh- why don't we just go downstairs to eat-"

"what the fuck did you just say?" mr. joseph cut her off, his eyes going dark. "kelly, leave." he looked to her, she swallowed hard and looked to tyler before back at him.

"please don't do this, chris."

"i said _leave_." he snarled, taking a step towards her. tyler felt his heart quicken as she stayed put, her face turning to one of fear but also a mixture of anger.

"you aren't gonna hurt him." she folded her arms, trying to straighten herself as he seemed to tower over her.

" _i'm not_?" he cocked his head, a sick grin making it's way onto his face.

then, time seemed to slow and it all happened at once.

tyler's face turned to one of pure fear as his dad grabbed his mom and practically threw her out of the way, she let out a scream as he lurched towards tyler and grabbed him by the hair before dragging him to the floor.

"i'm sick of this fucking attitude." he spat, bunching tyler's hoodie in his fist and using his free hand to land a hard slap to his face.

"get off him!" mrs. joseph raised her voice, grabbing her husband by the arm and trying to pull him off. he simply let out another growl and yanked tyler up before shoving him backwards, effectively sending him flying into the corner of his desk and knocking everything off it.

"you're fucking _crazy_." tyler tried to regain himself, wiping a trickle of blood from his now busted lip.

"and you're a fucking _burden_ , get the fuck downstairs." his dad seethed, and with that he was pushing past his wife and storming out. an air of tension was still heavy in the room, tyler kept his eyes to the floor as he ran the sleeve of his hoodie across his eye and bit back a sob.

"are you okay?" his mom reached a hand out tentatively, her lip caught between her teeth in worry. tyler nodded stiffly before manouvering around her and heading out of his bedroom, walking into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him before locking it and sliding onto the floor.

" _fuck_." he brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms, using the momentary alone time to let everything out. his hands were shaking and he felt an overwhelming urge to throw up as he stood up slowly and grabbed a wash cloth before wetting it under the tap and dabbing his lip.

_"you didn't have to do that."_

tyler stilled, his head turning towards the door as he heard who he assumed was his parents talking to each other. he stepped closer and pressed his ear against the cold wood, his grip still firm on the cloth pressed against his mouth.

"i'm sick of his fucking attitude, _spoiled brat_."

he rolled his eyes at that, he was anything but spoiled.

"you didn't have to _hit_ him."

"he needs put in his place, i wasn't like that at his age."

tyler felt a bad feeling twist through him.

"he just needs some _help_ , chris."

"yeah, he does." his dad's tone suddenly changed, more serious now. "y'know my dad sent me to _military school_ at 17, maybe that'd do him some good."

tyler's eyes went wide, a sudden lump forming in his throat.

"chris-"

"no, he needs to have some fucking discipline in his life and god knows you aren't giving it to him." his dad let out a huff, "i'll get a few of the guys down at the bar to ask around, see if they can get him in before summer."

"chris they'll fucking kill him there, you know they don't take well to... _y'know_..."

" _faggots_?"

tyler gagged, his legs feeling like they were about to fall apart from underneath himself.

"don't you fucking _dare_ call him that."

"what? he is. maybe they'll knock it out of him, here's hoping."

tyler felt his heart sink as he collapsed over the toilet bowl, his fingers gripping the edge as he felt himself convulse and empty whatever contents were in his stomach into the space. he heard the faint sound of footsteps coming back upstairs and he braced himself, wiping the sweat from his forehead and gagging once again as he heard someone knocking on the door.

"tyler? sweetie?" his mom's voice came from the other side, "you okay in there?"

"uh- y-yeah, i'll be out in a mi- _fuck_." tyler clutched his chest as he threw up once again, tremors running through his limbs as his mother seemed to get more panicked.

"tyler?! tyler open the door!"

"i'll be out in a _fucking minute_!" tyler grit his teeth, trying to sound like he just hadn't thrown his guts up.

"... _o-okay_ , honey." his mom sounded weary, but he heard footsteps retreating back downstairs nevertheless.

tyler shakily stood up and stumbled over to the sink, he stared in the mirror for a moment in thought. military school, he knew he wouldn't last a fucking day in a place like that. he already had a hard enough time at school when he was outed and the entire place seemed to take a sudden dislike in him, that was when his dad seemed to slowly transition into the violent drunk he is today.

_"so, you're a fucking queer? where's your boyfriend, faggot?"_

his own father's words rattled around in his head, tears stung at his eyes as he glanced over at the door. he couldn't stay in this place, not with the now upcoming hell that is military school. he needed to...get away...from all of this.

_he needed out._

**  
  
**

 

**_*now*_ **

****_  
  
_

 

so, here he was. bolting down the streets with his backpack rattling and his eyes blurred with a mixture of rain and tears. he slowly came to a stop as he tried to catch his breath, leaning on his thighs as he gulped in the air he'd lost running from that place. he ignored the passer by's curious looks and looked back for a split second before bracing himself to run again, that was...until...he caught sight of a flash of _red_ in the alleyway next to him.

_then a hand was latching onto his arm and yanking him in roughly._

tyler let out a yelp and struggled, eyes going wide in panic as a hand clamped over his mouth and held him against the wall. he couldn't make out a face in the darkness of the alley, but he saw the faint glint of silver on the persons face.

" _shhh_." the boy's mouth upturned in a grin, using the hand that wasn't over tyler's mouth to hold over his own mouth as if to tell him to be quiet. the boy nodded towards the entrance of the alleyway and tyler looked to see two men fly past, their faces dropped in scowls.

"where the _fuck_ did he go?"

"i told you to keep a fucking eye on him!"

tyler's brows furrowed in confusion and he turned his head back to the boy, starting to tremble slightly as he removed his hand from tyler's mouth and slowly slid along the wall. the boy peered out into the light and glanced both ways before turning towards tyler with that same grin from before. tyler could see him a little better now, he didn't look much older than himself. he had faded red hair and the silver tyler saw from before was a nose ring, he had a dirty kind of appearance and his clothes were ripped and scuffed. he had a patchy denim jacket on and his combat boots had a few holes in them, tyler came to the conclusion he must be a runaway too...

"if you're gonna keep looking at me like that at least buy me dinner first." the boy rolled his eyes with a snort which caused tyler to quickly look away, a pinkish colour tinging his cheeks.

"sorry about that, by the way." the boy gestured to his mouth, "didn't want you blowing my cover, y'know."

"w-what did you do?" tyler tore his gaze away from the ground and looked at the boy with furrowed brows.

"escaped from _prison_." the boy shrugged nonchalantly, a smirk rising to his face as tyler's eyes went comically wide. "you're clearly not good with sarcasm, yeah? nah, i stole something." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, tyler let out a soft 'ah' of understanding and shifted awkwardly on the spot.

"so!" the boy clapped his hands together, " _see ya_." he flicked his head up before turning on his heel, tyler felt a panic rise to him and he wasn't sure why, maybe it was the sudden feeling of loneliness that hit him like a freight train.

"uh- _wait_!" he pulled back as the boy stilled, turning his head and raising an eyebrow at him. "um...where are you going?"

" _i dunno_." the boy shrugged, "wherever i want, why?"

tyler bit his lip in thought, figuring if he was going to be homeless for the next few weeks he may as well have someone with him. it wasn't like he had any other family to stay with, anyways.

" _c-can i come with you_?"

the boy narrowed his eyes in confusion, before suddenly realisation spread across his face and he let out a sharp laugh.

"you're a fucking runaway, _aren't you_?" he took a step forward and gave a playful nudge to tyler's shoulder, a look of worry coming across his face as tyler seemed to flinch.

"u-uh, yeah...are you?"

"i was." the boy let out a yawn, " _two years ago_."

"two years?!" tyler looked at him in shock, would _he_ be homeless for two years?

"well... _yeah_? you got another thing coming if you think you're gonna just get a place to stay handed to you, _it doesn't work like that_."

" _o-oh_.." tyler felt himself start to shake once again, the boy placed a gentle hand on his arm and ducked his head to look at him with a soft smile.

"are you okay?"

"n-no, fuck. _shit_." tyler cursed before letting out a sob and sliding down the wall, the boy instantly knelt down beside him and looked at him sternly.

" _hey, breathe_." he helped tyler take his backpack off before tilting his chin up to look at him, "it's gonna be okay, deep breaths." he tapped his chest and took a deep breath before letting it out, making a gesture with his hand to signal tyler to copy him.

" _s-sorry_." tyler sniffled, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. he averted his gaze as he did what the boy showed him and took a deep breath before holding it and letting it back out. the boy gave another soft smile and let out a laugh, shaking his head.

" _fuckin'_ _rookie_." he teased with a grin once again, "look, you aren't gonna last out here on your own. do you want me to stay with you?" he cocked his head, eyes looking for something in tyler's.

"u-uh.... _y-yeah_ , please." tyler felt pathetic for asking a complete stranger to basically show him how to survive being homeless, he never thought it would come to this nevermind that he'd meet someone along the way.

"awesome." the boy smiled before standing up and pulling tyler up with him. tyler grabbed his backpack off the wet ground and slung it over his shoulders, keeping his gaze anywhere but the boy.

"what's your name, by the way?"

tyler flinched once again as a hand suddenly extended towards him, but he took it hesitantly nevertheless. "i-i'm tyler, _you_?"

" _tyler_." the boy repeated, his tongue peeking out as he gave that same smile that made tyler feel a little more safe. 

 

_"well tyler, i'm josh."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh this hurt to write lmao


End file.
